Content Warning: This article talks about grief, trauma, PTSD, and memory loss

 

The breathtaking 2016 anime series Grimgar, Ashes and Illusions may be known to offer its viewers enchanting watercolor landscapes and stirring displays of combat, but beneath the surface lies an equally beautiful story about the intricacies of human emotions. Most notably, it’s a multi-faceted representation of grief. Introduced as an isekai adventure with quirky volunteer soldiers fending off goblins, Grimgar, Ashes and Illusions takes all of the genre’s biggest strengths and centers them around a small team of unlikely heroes with heart.

 

From the early loss of a charming, pivotal character to the exploration of PTSD, or even its all-important reminder to persevere, the gutsy anime is unafraid to tackle the sensitive subject along with unexpected variations to coping. Essentially, every successful story requires its own unique commentary on humanity. 

 

Grieving an Unknown Past

 

 

Right from the jump, the Grimgar, Ashes and Illusions crew is united in real-time for viewers, giving you the same entry point as its protagonists. The confusion and uncertainty are noticeable across the board, so the unusual circumstances require these amnesia-stricken individuals to stick together. 

 

Though it might appear to be a less drastic transition into this new world, considering they aren’t engulfed by memories of their past lives, the missing pieces very much plague their present-day existence. Throughout its run, fragmented words or snippets of muddled information come to the surface, causing the group to feel tethered to the loss of a life they can’t recall. In some instances, they’ll instinctually refer to modern words or ideas like “life isn’t a video game” in the correct context, only to realize there’s no clear origin about where any of it stems from. Over time, they begin to accept their new normal, but the obvious notion of losing a former life is something that shapes the young heroes’ regard for identity. 

 

Their First Tangible Loss

 

 

In a matter of only four episodes, the group presents an impressive dynamic of assorted personalities, led by the honorable Manato. In addition to his role as leader, he also acts as a healer and front-line fighter, which gives the core unit a dependable parental figure as a safety net. The series then boldly strips the group of that sense of security with his untimely death, which rocks the foundation of each life he managed to touch.

 

It’s at this point that the series dives head first into the intense emotions often paired with grief, and much like life, every character handles it in their own way. We witness these moments on a regular basis as Ranta lashes out at Haruhiro, Moguzo’s humble confidence begins to deteriorate, and Shihoru visibly struggles to overcome unshakable despair after the loss of someone she displayed romantic feelings for. Not only does it cause them to lose the structure that comes with the passing of a reliable role model, but they also lose the emotional anchor of their team. Forced to move forward together without knowing what that entails (yet another parallel to real loss), everyone in the squad eventually has to expand their skill set in order to adapt and honor Manato’s memory — if not for themselves, for their newfound family.  

 

Merry’s Representation of Trauma 

 

 

Merry enters the chat as the group’s new healer, coming from a history of multiple group placements shrouded in ambiguity. Though everyone is still dealing with their own emotional baggage, we learn that Merry is one of two survivors of an attack that resulted in the death of three squad members — all of which she heavily blames herself for. 

 

Her immersion in trauma is so overwhelming that she refuses to open up to her new group about the tragic events beyond surface-level discussions. By adding her to the fray, the series opens a window to the seriousness of PTSD, providing a different angle of grief that can be associated with an unexpected loss. Merry might be one of the most powerful additions to the squad, but traumatic memories and her fear to engage in battle and risk jeopardizing her comrades demonstrates that Merry has intricate internal struggles. As she eventually gets closer to the members with time and healthy conversations, Merry thankfully feels empowered enough to reopen those wounds and finally confront her triggers. 

 

Haruhiro’s Instinctual Ability to Lead

 

 

After the aforementioned events with Manato, Haruhiro’s inner monologues become much more reflective and insightful about the sentiment of loss. While witnessing the team’s crumbling emotional state at Manato’s gravesite, he hauntingly admits, “I’m lost. I don’t know what to do. It’s finally sinking in. Manato… isn’t coming back.” He is entirely hollow and unsure how to proceed. Haruhiro often spent his time idolizing every quality of Manato, so when the dynamic forcibly shifted, he began to internalize his growing fears and concerns until realizing there was a role that needed to be filled. By acknowledging the severity of that loss both as a leader and friend, Haruhiro realizes that whether he’s prepared or not, it’s his time to lead in the name of Manato. 

 

Despite his anxieties to lead the group, Haruhiro genuinely believes that Manato provided him with a blueprint of what it takes to be a leader. He pushes himself while always referring back to how Manato would have handled each scenario. Haruhiro does begin to figure out a combination of Manato’s and his own interpretation of leadership, but there’s no denying that Haruhiro’s role and personality were shaped by the loss of the person he had become closest to. To such an extent, the division of Manato’s responsibilities between Haruhiro and Merry ultimately unites the pair with the primary intention of making fallen comrades proud. 

 

The Importance of Conquering Sorrow

 

 

Grimgar, Ashes and Illusions clearly includes sincere nuances about loss and despair, but its glimpses of hope introduce a much brighter quality — one that might be the finest takeaway of the story. Thankfully, by the time the emotional rollercoaster comes to an end, the group’s ability to overcome gives the MMO genre a well-rounded definition of strength that isn’t commonly depicted in the fantasy-action genre. 

 

While observing an assortment of grieving characters in the span of 12 episodes, it’s almost incomprehensible to imagine an optimistic shift in energy. However, as we go through the motions with these characters, we begin to see them remember that no matter how challenging, this life is still worth living. After a tear-jerking reminder of Haruhiro’s own growth throughout the series, the endearing character comes to a place where he’s finally grounded by gratitude for life, companionship and constructing memories he’ll cherish for an eternity. 

 

When parting with these heavy-hearted characters, they’re unequivocally stronger than when we initially entered their lives, and that in itself is a striking example of art imitating life. 
 

 

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If you or someone you know is struggling with mental health, here is a list of resources that may help:

National Suicide Prevention Hotline: 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text Line: Text “HELLO” to 741741

The Health Resources and Services Administration may be able to connect you to mental health resources.