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FEATURE: 6 Clueless Anime Crushes That Will Ignore Your Valentine

 

In the realm of fiction, there is perhaps no archetype more beautiful than the oblivious romantic crush. Their deer-in-headlights demeanor, their clueless gaze, their complete vacancy in regard to the hints someone is giving them — it’s one of the most adorable and frustrating blends in the modern world. Because it’s getting close to Valentine’s Day, a day that celebrates love in all its forms, animated or otherwise, it’s fitting to run down some of the most notable examples of this character. 

 

To start off, I’m going to go with a fairly recent addition to the pantheon…

 

Junichiro KubotaTomo-chan Is a Girl!

 

tomo-chan is a girl

 

The karate-obsessed apple of Tomo Aizawa’s eye, Junichiro means well even if he doesn’t always say the right things. He’s able to apologize for his mistakes, which is a good feature when your main attribute involves bulldozing past someone else’s emotions. He might recognize Tomo’s attraction to him a little more if Tomo herself was better at expressing her feelings, but for now, they’re stuck as best childhood buds. Considering how fiercely protective Jun is, that’s not the worst place to be. Godspeed, Tomo, and believe in yourself. It’s still Season 1. You have a while to go. 

 

Luffy One Piece

 

one piece

 

Aside from Sanji’s unrequited attraction to every woman he comes into contact with, One Piece isn’t known for its wide array of romances. But Boa Hancock — known as the most beautiful person in the world — and her desperate crush on Luffy more than make up for it. Hancock becomes a blushing mess whenever Luffy shows her even the slightest bit of admiration, a cute display for a woman that could kick your head off in an instant.

 

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We have no idea what One Piece creator Eiichiro Oda has planned for the two (though I doubt we’ll be getting a Luffy honeymoon arc any time soon) but the one thing that is for certain is Luffy’s total blindness to Hancock’s affection. Dude wants to be Pirate King, eat some meat, and quite literally nothing else. 

 

AstaBlack Clover

 

asta looks surprised in black clover

 

If we’re going by sheer number of admirers, Asta might be at the top of this list. Everyone from Noelle to Mimosa to Rebecca is smitten with his toned body and inability to whisper, yet he perceives every possible advance as someone simply being nice. This is most prominent with Noelle, whose hot and cold demeanor slowly slips over the course of the show. If Asta put as much time into flirting as he does into push-ups, he might notice half the cast is practically frothing over him, but alas. It doesn’t help that his heart is set on Sister Lily, a nun who can’t marry him because, well, she is an adult nun and he is a very loud child. 

 

Soma Yukihara – Food Wars!

 

Food Wars! Shokugeki no Soma

 

It’s often said that people want a partner who can cook, and if Suma Yukihara from Food Wars! is any indication, that phrase holds a little bit of truth to it. Suma’s aptitude as a cooking prodigy is rivaled only by his status as an oblivious doofus — so the fondness of people like childhood friend Miyumi and rival-turned-pal Ikumi goes totally unnoticed. But if it is his confidence and cooking that attracts them, they shouldn’t have a hard time finding someone else. It’s Food Wars! after all. Throw a rock, ya know?

 

 

Haruhi FujiokaOuran High School Host Club

 

 

Ouran High School Host Club Main Cast

 

Everyone loves Haruhi. Yet the lead of Ouran High School Host Club barely recognizes it. No advance is cartoonishly extravagant enough for her to recognize for a while and getting her to notice you is pretty much a futile endeavor. She is perhaps matched by Tamaki, who has a massive crush on her but doesn’t seem to notice or even understand his own emotions regarding this.

 

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At least we’ll always have that scene where Tamaki catches Haruhi as she falls off a bridge in the last episode. Dang, anime is so good. Can y’all believe someone told me once that Ouran High School Host Club was a bad show and I believed them for, like, 15 years? Gosh. It was I who was the true clueless anime person. 

 

Otani Lovely Complex

 

 

Lovely Complex

 

If you’re looking for a show where someone just puts themselves out there in regard to trying to make a relationship happen, Lovely Complex is for you. If you’re looking for a show where the object of attraction is immediately receptive to those attempts… maybe look elsewhere. The only thing more towering than Risa’s height in Lovely Complex is her love for Otani, but he doesn’t notice it at first, to the extent it actually makes him frustrated. This happens quite a few times until Otani finally gets it together and Lovely Complex ends up being one of the most satisfying romance anime out there.

 

So, there you go. These are just a few anime crushes that only get the hint under the most miraculous of circumstances. But considering a few of them eventually went from clueless pal to marriage material, maybe there’s hope for the rest. Except Luffy. I don’t think that one’s happening, Boa.